Functioning in Reality

I don't believe that I ever function in "reality" very well as a child. In fact, I don't think I function too well in reality now, however, raising two kids on the autism spectrum reminds me of my days in school. Many good memories, like any "normal" person, yet today brought back some very anxious memories. My 10 year old son warned me earlier in the day that he didn't want to go to school. Usually when he acts this way I will make an attempt to bribe him or make him laugh. Today both worked, for a while. The bribe, an X-Box 360 for Christmas wasn't close enough to grasp for my son, yet he still got out of the car. I saw a tear beginning to form in his eye and I knew it was because he didn't want to circumnavigate in society today. Many days he is just hit with "sensory overload". See, we both suffer with Sensory Integration Disorder meaning the bright lights in hallways, funky smells in the classroom and annoyingly loud recess bells are enough to send us into a fetal position. Okay, not literally any longer...but I could related. So, I watched the clock as my son's father and I placed bets on how long it was going to take until the "I'm sick come get me" phone call came. It came three hours later, just as I was walking into my Christian Yoga class. "Mom, I'm just not feeling good. My stomach hurts and I have a cough." Well, he did have a cough today, but I know he just really wanted to be home. Previously my ADD tendancies forced me to stop homeschooling and put him public school. So, no suprise, and I went to pick him up. I went home and made sure he went to sleep. This gave me hours to relive my hundreds of perfectly vivid ( and sensory infused) memories of what it was like for me in Junior High and High School. You see, I made a career out of playing sick. I don't know how I passed any of my courses. If I remember, I was late about 30 days out of the quarter, and absent about 25 or so. I hated school with a passion. All of my autistic symptoms got in the way. So...I stayed home and watched daytime television. I knew if I heard the People's Court upcoming commercials...I had made it! Freedom from my NT classmates, teachers, and panic attacks. Later on I skipped school to go Skiing at Crystal Mountain instead. Much better trade off. So...why am I a writer and not working in a cubicle? Because I wouldn't show up! I would be excited for maybe a week, and then I will come up with any excuse to not be there...even if its threatening to go to the nut-house (not meant to offend as I often belong there). So, two things I learned today #1 An aspie brain remembers past experiences with annoyingly vivid memory (including all the senses), #2 I can understand why my son had to stay home from school today. Homeschooling is probably around the corner!